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PAGE 14 MODERN SENIOR MONTANA SENIOR NEWS • FEBRUARY / MARCH 2020

GERONtOLOGY / CONtINUED FROM PAGE 13 antipsychotic medication usage, and age- To register for the conference, sign up as a confer-
friendly health systems among others. ence sponsor or exhibitor, or for more information
depression in long-term facilities and a tool Sponsors and Exhibitors will share about the conference, visit the MGS website at
that is being created to assess risk of suicide. information and resources from a myriad montanagerontology.org. You may also contact
Breakout sessions will cover a variety of of services and programs for our senior the conference planning team at conference@
health and senior issues, such as financial population. Sponsorship and exhibitor montanagerontology.org
and legal planning, dementia, reducing opportunities are still available. MSN

Technological Advances?

you have our aisle-
BY ERNIE WItHAM by-aisle location
app? If not, your wife
(SENIOR WIRE) In the can download it at
past, before technol- seeourspecials.com.
ogy invaded every If you need help call
aspect of our lives, our helpful hotline at
you sometimes got a 1-800-EASY. Don’t
lot of “personality” at call 1-900-EASY, or
the check-out stand. you will get a porn
“Well how are you service. Haha. Please
today? My sciatica is hit total.”
acting up. Not easy So, it was kind of
standing here all day. refreshing to go to a
My new daughter-in- “throw-back-day” at
law has a desk job. a winery in the Valley.
Makes more money “Wow, it’s loud
in a week than I make in here.”
in a month. Needs it, Now automation is here, and the programmers knowing what we were used to tried to program in The young lady
though, with all the “personality,” but it’s not quite the same. © stokkete, Bigstock.com. blew a strand of hair
booze she drinks. Uses out of her face. “Three
black fingernail polish. Probably in a cult. automation is here, and the programmers weddings, today. Not exactly your nuance
My grandchildren, if I ever get any, will knowing what we were used to tried to crowd. Wanted to know if we used local trees
probably have pointed ears. Nice shirt. JC program in “personality,” but it’s not quite for our oak barrels.”
Penny? Great bargains. Buy all my bras the same. I handed her our “taste-free-wine-
there. Only place with my size. So, did you Like at the pump-your-own gas station. anytime” club card. She grabbed a yellow
find everything you needed?” “Insert card now. Remove quickly. Too pad and pen. “Internet is down. Busiest day
“No, no, no!” fast. Reenter card now. Too slow. Reenter in weeks.”
“Should I call the store manager for you? card. Is this a debit card? Put in number, I thought of all the times in life I used a
What it is you need?” but shield yourself from criminals. This is fake ID and was escorted out of an estab-
“The image of your bras to go away?” not the greatest neighborhood. Of course, lishment. I was going to make up a name
“Funny. You should write humor.” you don’t look like you have much money for old time’s sake, but Pat signed us in.
“I do.” anyway. Haha.” Someone ordered three bottles of wine. The
“Right. So, cash or check?” As an added feature, many pumps have server took out an old credit card slip and
Or how about when the gas station monitors that blast you with “personal” started writing stuff down. “You don’t even
attendant used to come dashing out to put in ads, while you are pumping. “Special loan have the little machine?”
gas, check your oil, wash your windshield, rates today at the local branch of Bank of “Nope.” She took out her phone and
and check your tire pressure? Antarctica. Cool bank, check them out. Then used the calculator to add things up. “We’re
“Nice ride! ‘57? Kid who works for me maybe you wouldn’t have to put in the going to have to enter all of this by hand
is restoring an Edsel. Butt-ugliest car ever cheapest octane. Haha. Thirsty? We offer once the Internet comes back. Probably be
made if you ask me. Course he’s about as the mega-gulp sugar-plus-extra-caffeine here till midnight. Rosé‚ to start?”
bright as the tail lamp on a ‘64 Volkswagen purple passion slush drink for only two A group of 15 stumbled out of a wine-
Beetle if you get my meaning. So, whataya bucks. Goes great with pork rinds. You look tour bus and headed our way. They were all
need today?” like a pork rinds kinda guy. Haha. Replace holding cell phones and speaking a foreign
“Two dollars nozzle when done.” language. She did a neck roll and started
regular, please.” We have also been blessed with the lining up glasses. “Great. The selfie crowd
“Wow, one step self-checkout stand. “Please insert your is here.”
closer to retire- card. Cannot read. Is there anyone with “Wow! This is like the olden days! I don’t
ment in Tahiti.” you who can help? A wife maybe? Scan suppose you have time to complain about
Now any coupons now. Cannot read. Wife? Do your brother-in-law or ask where I bought
these cheap cargo shorts or anything?”
She poured us some wine. “That does
not compute,” she said. MSN
Family Dining
Take-Out Orders
Cocktails
MECHANICAL
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