Page 13 - MSN_374_AprilMay

Modern Senior
APRIL / MAY 2021 • MONTANA SENIOR NEWS PAGE 13

Monsters Among Us any Lnrsps. And the caller I.D. seldom lies. I

think he was calling to “zxyrlubr mmonald
rook, goddammit!” Or “karkyrookr, god-
dammit!” Couldn’t tell which.
I believe cell phones are so named because
they condemn their users to electronic
incarceration. They take gazzillion-pixel
moving pictures Steven Spielberg would be
proud of. They search the internet faster
than we can think.
They tweet, twinkle, sputter, clunk, and
belch for you if you’re too busy tweeting to
belch for yourself. They secure your house
when you’re gone, monitor everything
including the dog, record your favorite TV
shows and watch them for you, water your
house plants, and reline the shelves in all
your medicine cabinets.
They warn you of unwelcome strangers,
alert you when your in-laws are coming
©Maria_Savenko, Bigstock.com. before they’ve taken their car keys off the
hook, imbed shame and guilt in your kids
for you, scratch that itch in a sensitive place
“Llyrrup blmmoop jipsimbr flm.” to save you embarrassment, and insult your
BY BrUCE MIDGEtt “Your connection is bad. Call me again.” neighbor when he wears that gaudy orange
Then my phone blasts The Grand March sport jacket to church.
“Hello?” from Aida. Pretentious, but it impresses the They store, in their 2- by 5- by 1/2-inch
“Blbllr.” ladies at Albertson’s. indestructible titanium cases, all knowledge
“Lenny?” “Hello?” acquired through human history and half
“Blblses.” “Bbllrllr.” the knowledge acquired by inhabitants of
“Lenny? The caller I.D. says it’s you. I And so on.
can’t understand you.” It was Lenny, or Lnrsps. I don’t know CONtINUED ON PAGE 14

We’re here to help you
Chris Fraser–Your Montana turn wear and tear,

Senior Real Estate Specialist Into Recovery and Rejuvenation.
Because you’re still booming...

I am a proud supporter of My Glacier Village, a resource network for seniors
in Northwest Montana. In 2021 we are planning workshops that will include:
Senior investment, estate planning, aging in place strategies and property
management.

About My Glacier Village:
We Connect—We create opportunities for our volunteers and members to make
new friends over shared interests. We check in on each other to make sure every-
one knows they are valued and belong.

We Inspire—We provide opportunities to learn through workshops and lectures.
We've hosted cooking classes, archery lessons, health and wellness lectures, Tai
Chi classes and more.

We Support—And when Members need a little help around the house, a ride to an
appointment, meals during an illness, or a friendly visit, they can count on our
volunteers, who are often seniors themselves.

For workshop details call or email: Want to know more? ...and so are we.
Chris Fraser, Broker
RRE-BRO-LIC-37931
745 Henesta Dr Billings, MT
406-471-6750
[email protected]

New walk-in clinic OrthoNOW
now open for same day appointments.
Jenn Prunty - Founder & Board President
406-250-8784 406.496.3400 | MontanaOrthopedics.com | Butte, Montana
[email protected] B L AVAT S K Y B U E H L E R DI G I O V I N E G A L L AG H E R R U S S O