By BERNICE KARNOP
Juanita Rosales always had it in her heart to write the things that happened in her life, so her grandchildren would know where they came from. Ten years ago the Great Falls woman wrote her story, beginning with her childhood in the Philippines. She was the last of 10 children living in extreme poverty.
She told of escaping Manila when Japanese bombs surprised them the same day they surprised the Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor. She shared the years of brutal occupation during World War II and the way she felt God protected her from danger and certain death.
She wrote how, against tremendous odds, she became a nurse and how she traveled to Great Falls as the first exchange nurse from the Philippines after the war, in 1953.
Bible verses show up throughout her book-length story.
“I put in the Scriptures that affected my life. They are the proven promises of the Lord to me,” she said. Juanita titled her book, My Journey with the Good Shepherd.
“The legacy I want to pass down is my spiritual connection with God, so my family to future generations may also experience it,” she said.
While she wouldn’t use the phrase, Juanita’s gift to her family is called an ethical will. Barry K. Baines, who wrote the book, Ethical Wills: Putting your Values on Paper, wrote, “Legal wills bequeath valuables, while ethical wills bequeath values.”
The idea is far from new. Baines traces the tradition passing of values and blessings back to Biblical times, such as Jacob’s blessing of his 12 sons recorded in the book of Genesis, Moses’ farewell to the Children of Israel in Deuteronomy, and Jesus’ farewell to his disciples in the New Testament book of John.
Ethical wills are like a mission statement of your life. Writing one gives individuals a chance to reflect on their life and say what matters to them.
In addition to revealing who the person is, it’s an opportunity to express love to others and extend and ask forgiveness. It gives one a chance to pass down significant family stories that ought not be forgotten. They may tell what it was like growing up on a ranch, or how the family came to Montana.
An ethical will not only blesses those to whom it is written, it also helps the writer to know himself or herself. It means taking time to think about what they value, what they want their family to know, and what they hope for the future. Writing these things down helps the writer live more deliberately in the present.
Occasions for a legacy letter or ethical will may be significant birthdays, births, weddings, or other turning points of life, including the dawning of this New Year! The busy-ness of life does not allow one to express conversationally how much they love their family or friends, but once a person writes these words, they may be treasured for generations after that person has passed away.
End-of-life letters often express love, forgiveness, and how the writer wishes to be remembered. Individuals may use it to give a final word on what to include in their funeral, or provide a letter expressing thanks and appreciation to those who attend.
For those who want a little help getting started, Baines’ book is helpful, as is his website. In his workshops and classes, Baines gives universal themes that many want to include — the value of family and friends, spiritual truths to live by, the value of education, honesty, and generosity.
At the end of life, writing an ethical will brings a sense of completion and peace to both the writer and the receivers.
Ethical wills may be delivered in other ways besides being written on paper. Creative individuals pass their stories and blessings through letters and journals. Crafty souls may create photo albums, art work, or quilts to share their messages and love.
Once one gets the ethical will written, they may give it to the people in their life immediately, or they may place it in a safe but accessible place to be read after they die. A good place to put it is with one’s living will, which is a statement of health directives for when they are unable to speak for themselves, and with their legal will.
While grandchildren may love to inherit the family jewels, they will consider it a finer inheritance if you share the story of your life journey, the lessons you’ve learned, the spiritual values that sustained you, and blessings you want to share.
While many know they should “write a book,” few actually sit down and do it.
According to Rosales, “If it is something that will benefit the coming generations, they should do it while it is fresh in their minds.” MSN
